My New Year's Resolutions

Looking back, 2009 was probably one of the worst years of my life. But I suppose it wasn’t all bad. I managed not to get arrested, get knocked up, or lose my job. So to be fair, it wasn’t a major disaster.

I’m hoping that 2010 will be a great year though. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really feel like I deserve some happiness. I’ve been so unhappy for so long. I want something good to happen. But I know for something good to happen, I have to make some changes.

Here are my New Years Resolutions for 2010:

Lose 20 pounds (Sadly, a lot of you informed me a while back that there was NO magic body fat eraser. So, this means I will be making changes to my diet and establishing an exercise routine, even if it means walking up and down my apartment stairs 100 times a day).

Find happiness in my career (I am no longer happy in my current position. Unfortunately, this means I will have to find a new job or simply quit my job and find another way to supplement my income, such as marrying James Franco or winning the lottery).

Make new friends (but keep the old).

Learn how to put on makeup (seriously).

Clean out my junk (I have boxes and piles of stuff that I need to organize or throw away).

Be a good shopaholic (I will only buy clothes/shoes/accessories/handbags/jewelry that I will wear often and that is a decent bargain)

Practice optimism (Part of becoming happy is pretending you are happy until you really are happy. Not in the disillusioned kind of way, but I want to see the good out of the bad at least. I really need to work on that. I tend to make a tragedy out of something that is simply dismal).

Have shiny, soft hair that bounces when I walk (not sure how the hell that is going to happen, but I will try dammit!)

Gain more confidence (I currently hate myself so I’m always surprised when someone else likes me).

Save up money for cool things (fancy phone, new laptop, car, etc.)

Get my facebook back! (*sobbing*)


Happy New Year! What are your resolutions?

Kerrie Lovely

I don't like to brag, but I have the most fabulous friends ever. If you have been following my blog long enough, you know about my sister Jenny Benny and my bff Jonny.

There have been a million posts about my bff/sister/soulmate/twin Kerrie. But she deserves a tribute too, dammit! Haha.

We recently went to the carnival.


(me)


(Kerrie)

While we were riding the carousel, it occurred to me that I probably would not have survived the past few years without her by my side. I think she would say the same about me. We have both been through so much. Crazy boyfriends, girls after our boyfriends, stalkers, Morrissey, wild parties, obsessive shopping sprees, passing-out-in-the-middle-of-a-busy-street, etc.

I doubt 2010 will be much different.

To put it all into one post would be absolutely insane. It would be the longest post in the history of blogging.

So, here are a few of my favorite Kerrie and Jenny moments from 2009.

Enjoy!

"What the hell are you girls doing?!."

This photo was taken in an Urban Outfitters dressing room just moments before some bitch employee kicked us out. Apparently cigarettes and cameras aren't allowed in dressing rooms anymore?? But that takes all the fun out of things! Oh well. This was also the day we each purchased our second pairs of Jimmy Choos!!


"Will you marry me?"

Those two guys in the photo may not seem that important to you, but those Brits were actually our ONE degree of separation from the sex god Morrissey. Yes, those were his roadies! There were about ten of them. They singled us out and invited us to spend a few (six) hours in their tour bus after the concert. After several beers we not only learned everything we could have wanted to know about Moz, but we even received marriage proposals from a couple of his (young, cute, not-pictured) back up musicians. You can read the whole story here.


"I'm swimming in a size two!"

Kerrie and I tend to have parallel lives and similar problems. And sometimes we have completely opposite problems that result in the same frustrations. For instance, Kerrie lost 20 pounds in 2009 and I gained 20 pounds in 2009. We both literally could not fit into 90 percent of our closets anymore. It was humorous (for her) and sad (for me).


"Can I buy you girls a drink?"

We had been sitting at the Oak Room on a warm summer night when a polished young man approached us and offered to buy us drinks. He ravished us with adjectives about our beauty and then invited us to a party. Everything was going fine until his girlfriend showed up. Haha.


"And the winner is..."

Kerrie and I spend many Friday nights at wild parties downtown. After a few bottles glasses of champagne one night, Kerrie and I ended up the center of attention at one party last summer. Kerrie dragged me on stage during the concert and we danced for a crowd of thousands. Afterward, we took our dance moves to a street dance contest where we competed against seven other girls. I'm not sure how it happened but the audience chose me as the winner with Kerrie coming in at a close second. All I won were a pair of panties...and my pride.



"I'm going to jump the train, Jenny!"


For a long time, Kerrie and I have been living hobo-chic. In other words, we hang out by the railroad tracks downtown, dressed up in our finest designer clothing, and drink champagne and eat pink sparkly cake. It takes a certain degree of confidence to mingle with real-life hobos while wearing Prada heels and a Nanette Lepore jacket.



"I can't believe we've been together for 12 hours and I'm still not sick of you."


This is actually a vintage photo of Kerrie & me from a few years ago. I think it was the day we decided we were best friends. We spent the entire day together (8 a.m. to midnight). We went to the mall where we received Chanel makeovers, we went vintage hat shopping, we spent $200 at the fanciest French restaurant in town, and then we snuck into The Nutcracker premiere at a theater downtown.


And here are our best friends rings (matching owl rings from Forever 21)



I'm so lucky to have Kerrie in my life. Isn't she fabulous?

A Fabulous Birthday

Today is my birthday!

This is a photo of me (and my mom) when I was a baby.


This is a photo of me now.


Have I changed much?

They say a lady never reveals her age, so I'm not going to tell you. Let's just say I am no longer 25 but I am younger than 27.

Today my parents are taking me to a movie and then to one of the nicest French restaurants in town. Hopefully that will all go stress-free.

Tomorrow, Rian is taking me out to a fancy seafood restaurant to celebrate. I am definitely looking forward to that!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

I was snowned in with my parents for two nights because of a blizzard that hit my city. All the streets were shut down. I watched movies in pajamas for most of the time, and the other part was spent getting drunk with my mom.

Santa was kind to me, which was nice. I got Confessions of a Shopaholic on DVD, a pair of silver earrings, two cocktail rings, and some Victoria's Secret underwear (haha). And then my mom and Rian got together and bought me a really cool digital camera! Yay!

I hope you all have a lovely day!

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a snuggly and cozy Christmas this year. xoxo

Life without Facebook

Four days without Facebook and it feels like an eternity.

I've e-mailed them twice about the incident, hoping they will restore my profile, but I have not heard anything. I guess I just have to be patient. It is the holidays, after all. I might not hear anything until the new year perhaps...

It's bizarre.

I have had my facebook for five years and checked it every single day. I didn't realize how much a part of my life facebook was until it was gone.

I find myself going to the computer and typing my username, only to remember what happened. It's just instinct.

And now I'm not quite sure what to do with my free time.

There is nobody to poke. No witty status update to write. No photos to upload. No walls to write on.

I feel like I'm standing outside of society. It makes me uneasy that I don't know what my cousins did over the weekend or what new band my best friend in Milwaukee is listening to or what that kid from my high school biology class ate for breakfast.

I'm so used to knowing these little trivial things about people that it feels wrong not to know anymore.

I don't think I am the only one who feels this way. Our generation revolves around Facebook and other social networking sites in a way. It's how we communicate with each other, it's how we learn more about each other, it's how we meet each other, and it's how we feel confident about ourselves. Our profile is our mirror and our number of friends makes us feel more popular, even though in reality about 85 percent of those people are basically former acquaintances.

I can't even remember what life was like without facebook. What did I do with my time? How did I contact friends? Did I even have any friends? I don't know. I don't remember.

I guess being on facebook helped me feel like I was part of a community. My friends list was a huge number (382) of people from all aspects of my life. Former school classmates, girls who used to be in my ballet class, that guy I had my first kiss with, my old professors, my coworkers, all the people I hung out with in college, etc. Pretty much almost every person I interacted with at some point in my life was on my facebook. Like a small town of people I know.

Even though I might not have spoken to a person in 15 years, the protection of a computer screen allowed me to compliment their new hair style or "like" one of their status updates.

And now I'm stuck in the real world with nobody. If someone says something witty at the grocery store, I'm not going to give them a thumbs up. It doesn't work that way.

I'm not going to bring my poking war with my coworkers into the real world. That would be weird and creepy. And sometimes if you have long nails, poking in real life can hurt.

I'm not going to stand up on top of my apartment building and tell everyone what book I'm reading. I'm not going to stand on a street corner and status update my life.

So I guess I will just have to wait until Facebook responds to my e-mails. As torturous as it may be.

I am a child of the digital age. What else can I say?

(Un) Happy New Year

It's almost comical how I think every year is the worst year of my life.

This year is no different. It has been one nightmare after another, in fact, it's the whole reason I started my blog back in February. I needed a place to vent about how awful the new year was going. I had no idea it was only going to get worse.

I'm not going to list all the problems I've been moaning about in the past year. I'm going to talk about something a little more recent.

I never brought this up before because I didn't want the agony to affect all aspects of my life. This blog was one place where I could escape from the drama.

But, it's kind of twisting my life into a nightmare, so I have to talk about it.

There is a girl who has been obsessed with my boyfriend for the past two and a half years. She lives in another state. She found him on facebook, back when he used to have one.

After sending him an insane number of texts and e-mails, he finally told her to leave him alone. She did not listen. So, I sent her a very polite e-mail telling her to stop bugging my boyfriend.

She recently sent me a scathing e-mail back that is so scary, it makes me think she is unstable. I can't even repeat anything she said here.

Then, to get more revenge, she interfered with my personal life. You see, this morning I got an e-mail from Facebook stating that SOMEONE e-mailed them stating my profile had objectionable content on it. Since Facebook has billions of users, they could not investigate each unique incident, but instead simply deleted accounts.

So, they deleted my account.

This is a facebook account I have had for five years. I did not have any objectionable content on it at all, especially since I was friends with my boss and coworkers. I am always very careful about what I put on it.

I'm in shock. Five years worth of messages, photos, and contact information are gone from me forever. That website was the main tool of communication I had with my cousins, former coworkers, high school friends, and college friends. And now it's all gone.

So now if I'm lucky Facebook will let me rebuild a new profile, but it's going to take a very long time to find all the friends I accumulated over the past five years. And I will never get all those photos back. My college graduation photos, my birthday photos, vacation photos, are all gone for good. I'm devastated.

All because of her. This girl who hates me. She's never even met me.

She knows my full name, she knows where I work, and she knows where I live.

Am I wrong to be scared she will try to destroy me in other ways? Her city is not very far away from me. She could easily take a road trip out here to get me. Or, contact my work and make up lies, like she did to Facebook. She could try to get me fired or ruin my reputation somehow.

I'm scared.

My Christmas List

What I really want for Christmas this year (what money can't buy):

1. A magic eraser to shed twenty pounds from this delicate five foot tall frame.

2. A father who treats me with respect, kindness, and understanding.

3. Upward mobility in my career.

4. A boyfriend who loves me unconditionally and who never hurts me.

5. More friends to hang out with because being lonely sucks.

6. A Christmas filled with peace and love, rather than bitterness and stress.

7. More time in the day, more days in the week to do everything I need to do.

8. To have more adventures, instead of fearing the consequences.

9. Good health for the rest of my life.

10. Happiness


What is on your Christmas list?


Oh, and with my help, my editor recently became addicted to this Lady Gaga Christmas song. I think that's awesome.



Enjoy!

I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stich to wear

I need to go shopping. I am quickly running out of clothes that fit me. It is so sad. Unfortunately, I can't go shopping until after the holidays, because I'm low on funds. But hopefully once January comes around, I will have enough saved up to hit up Forever 21 or something. That would be nice.

In the meantime, here are some of the outfits I wore in the past week.


Blazer, Target; shirt, Ann Taylor; skirt, Ralph Lauren; shoes, Gap




Sweater, Burberry; skirt, Etro; shoes, Steve Madden; necklace, from a craft fair




Dress, Gap; tights, K-Mart; shoes, Gap; necklace, Tarina Tarantino (courtesy of the Chickdowntown giveaway hosted by Take Me Out to the Runway)

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great weekend. I had to work all day on Sunday and it was exhausting. But I managed to sneak a few fun things in as well. I had a girls night in with a couple friends, attended a Christmas party, and then got to spend some quality time with Rian, which is always nice.

Have a wonderful week!

You've Got Mail

I am a reporter for a newspaper that has more than one million subscribers.

In other words, there are a lot of crazy people reading my stories.

Seriously, a lot of them.

I often get strange (to put it mildly) phone calls, voicemails, and e-mails from readers. I know I should be annoyed, but in this digital day and age, I am most often just grateful that these people even still read a newspaper to begin with.

They are so bizarre, I thought I would share some of the e-mails with you today. I will save the phone calls and voicemails for a later post. There are simply too many. Haha.

Please keep in mind these are all REAL.

(I am, however, keeping some of the more unusual names anonymous because I don't want these people to google themselves and see their letters. LOL)


Dear Jennifer,

I am a lonesome Englishman traveling along the African Savanna. It is not easy being among the wild beasts during this safari. While browsing on my laptop computer, I came across your story about the three-legged dog who was awarded a medal for his commendable bravery and I must say, dear Jennifer, it brought a tear to my eye. You are a remarkable writer. I do wish you could be with me out here in this native land. But I fear you are much too far away, pitter-pattering on your little type writer, I imagine.

Tally ho!

Ronald Longfellow

(Um, wtf?)



Dear Ms. ********,

I understand what happened at Virginia Tech yesterday was a tragedy. What I do not understand is why it made front page. People die every day. They are shot at every day. Yes it is terrible 30 kids died. My point is, you came out to our Girl Scout camp yesterday morning and told us the story would be on the front page. I was dismayed this morning to see that the Virgina Tech shooting story was there instead. Now I have 15 sad little girls who I have to console and I have to try to explain why you lied. Shootings happen all the time. Young girls donating their time and effort to make scarves for the elderly is not a usual occurrence. Perhaps you should go back to journalism school and decide what is really news.

Sincerely,

Tracy *******

(Wow. Just wow.)



Dear Ms. ********,

Wow! I just want to say that you are one sexy lady! I saw you covering the rib eating contest on Sunday afternoon. You looked AMAZING!!! I loved your red heels and your adorable skirt. It is so refreshing to see a young woman wearing hose these days too. You are so CLASSY! Keep up the great work!!!

Maybe we could go shopping sometime?!?!?!

Yours truly,

Tom Adams

(I was flattered but kind of scared.)



Dear Jennifer ********,

I have a confession to make. I am something of an Indophile. You see, I am obsessed with Indian people and Indian things. I noticed that your last name is Indian. It became clear to me that you must have married an Indian, so perhaps you are an Indophile like myself. Would you like to meet up and discuss Indian things some time?

Sincerely,

Kevin Robertson

(Gah!)



Dear Jennifer,

I was dismayed to read your article that the city of ********* **** is increasing the number of recycling centers in town. When are people going to LEARN that recycling is FAKE? There is no such thing as recycling. It is a myth. It is one of the greatest conspiracy theories ever created by the United States Government. The things people are "recycling" are actually going straight to the landfill. Cans, glass, newspaper are NOT BEING RECYCLED! There is no such thing. There is no such way to turn old things into new things.

I would like a follow up article from you telling your readers that there is no such thing as recycling. If I do not see the follow up article in a week, please cancel my subscription to the newspaper as it is clearly filled with LIES.

Sincerely,

John Williams

(I never wrote the follow-up article. I did write back telling him that in elementary school, I actually went on a field trip where my class was shown aluminum cans and bottles being recycled right before our eyes. He never wrote back...or cancelled his subscription).



(The following is actually a letter I received in the mail. Instead of putting my name on the envelope, the man actually cut out my columnist photo and pasted it there instead).


Dear Ms. ********,

I have top secret information. I am God. You must believe me. The mayor of ******* ******* is the devil. He is going to destroy the universe. I came back to earth to help humans survive during this rough time. I must see that he does not control us. I am having a concert on my front lawn on Wednesday. I will be performing with my dear friends, John Lennon and Elvis. I hope to see you there.

Love,

God

(This is the first of six letters I received from this man. He started sending my editor letters as well. They were all fairly similar, except longer because he started including several Bible quotes. One month later, he was arrested when he was found hiding underneath the back porch of a city councilwoman's house).



(The following e-mail is about a story I freelanced for an edgy, hip magazine intended for college or 20-something readers. This letter was literally three pages long, full of critique, so I am only sharing a few paragraphs).


Dear Ms. ********,

I have a few questions regarding your story about the heavy metal rock band. My first question, do you use AP style to write your stories? Because I noticed a few instances where the quotations were not correct. I am a high school journalist, you see, so I am used to looking for such things.

Your use of 'cuss' words is not very appropriate or conducive to your readers, many who are in high school or college and probably are not used to such language. Your use of the word 'damn' and your description of a musician as being 'badass' is not needed in this situation. A more politically correct term for 'badass' would be 'enforcer.' I think your readers will agree with me.

Think back to the first story you wrote. Was it good? Was it your best piece of writing? I can only presume that it was not, based on my own personal experience. I'm sure you've grown as a writer, one does not have the talent that you do right off the bat. But the journey that you have undergone is what these musicians are experiencing now. It's a learning period. I feel that was not portrayed correctly in this article.

Sincerely

Ashley *****

(Oh, so her being a high school journalist makes her above someone who is a former high school journalist, has a degree and a job where someone pays her to write? I should have done that to a journalist when I was in high school. "I am the editor-in-chief for my high school newspaper, you see, and I am used to seeing how bad everyone sucks. It is obvious you suck." LOL. I just couldn't believe she had the balls to send this shit to me. Someone clearly needs to get all 'enforcer' on that kid).

These e-mails are just a taste of what I get in my inbox every single day.

Crazy, right?

Sugar Doll Award

Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice about my doctor.

I am actually going to call her today and see what is going on. I'm a little skeptical to think that she didn't know, because after all, she did sign a note to me saying I was no longer her patient. But you never know...

In any case, I am definitely going to seek a new doctor. I am pretty sure I deserve better!

I have been so busy lately, but wanted to quickly display an award I received from one of my favorite bloggers, Melanie of Melanie's Randomness. I feel so lucky to to have become friends with this fabulous girl and even more lucky that she thought I was cool enough to receive this beautiful blogging award! Please check out her blog. She is an amazing writer!



With this award, I have to state ten random facts about me.

Here we go:

1. I was born in Michigan, but only lived there for a few months.
2. I love fries from McDonalds. I'm not ashamed to admit it.
3. My favorite television shows are The Office, Three's Company, Desperate Housewives, Arrested Development, and America's Next Top Model.
4. My closest friends are very career-oriented people who have no desire to marry or have kids any time before they are 30.
5. I'm scared that by the time I actually want children, it will be too late.
6. Up until a year ago, I used to wear four-to-five inch heels every single day to work. Now I mostly wear flats. It's just easier.
7. I have literally dozens of designer shirts, dresses, skirts, and pants which no longer fit me because I have gained 20 pounds in the past year. To see Prada, Etro, Chanel, and Burberry sit in the dark for months untouched makes me sick.
8. I don't like bottled water.
9. Sometimes I feel so overcome with work and other obligations, I wish there was more time in the day, or more days in the week.
10. I feel like a terrible blogger because without my own computer, I rarely am able to comment back to people anymore. :(

Anyway, hope those didn't put you to sleep! Haha.

I am passing this award on to all of my followers.

What's up, doc?!

I am just feeling miserable.

You see, I was dumped yesterday. No, not by Rian. But by my doctor.

This past summer I have been swimming in medical bills because of a cancer scare. I have five different bills that all totaled to around $800. Guess what? I paid them all on time. I'm my father's daughter in that way. I have perfect credit. I always pay my credit card or medical bills on time, even if it means not having money to eat that month.

This summer, I literally used an entire paycheck to pay off those medical bills. So for a few months, while I got back on my feet, I wasn't able to shop or go out to dinner. It was pretty bad.

Well, apparently there was a sixth bill that slipped under my radar. It fell underneath the front seat of my car. It was a doctor's fee for $27. I had no idea it even existed.

Well, a month ago, I received a notice from a collection agency that I owed $27 or the doctor's office was going to sue me. Apparently this bill was due in September. Horrified, I paid the bill right away.

It didn't matter.

Yesterday, I was received a letter signed by my doctor saying that I was no longer her patient.

The letter stated that the doctor's office does not tolerate late payments. I was no longer welcome there.

I was shocked.

I was so upset, in fact, I couldn't even eat. This doctor, this woman, was someone I had been seeing for seven years. Every year, I have an annual appointment with her. She held my hand through a minor surgery I had five years ago. Due to a rough case of tonsillitis, I literally saw this woman once a week for six months back in 2007. This summer, she comforted me after quite a few lab tests during this cancer scare.

I have literally paid her office THOUSANDS of dollars over the past seven years, all ON TIME. But because I paid a $27 doctors fee two months late, she dumped me as a patient.

Am I wrong to be upset?!

I'm just so crushed. I thought this doctor saw me as a person. But it turns out I wasn't a person to her. I was just another patient. A number on a list that she could erase without a care. Because she doesn't care. I put my health and heart in this woman's hands and she didn't treat it that way.

I mean, the doctors office should have known by looking on a computer that I always pay my bills on time. They should have known that I just paid them hundreds of dollars, so it's not like I was blowing them off. Didn't they think it was odd that I wasn't paying the smallest bill I've ever had from them? Didn't they think to call me and find out what was going on?

I'm sorry for going on about this. It's just really frustrating and I've been depressed about it since I got the letter.

Now I'm going to be spending all weekend searching for a new doctor online. I'm kind of an old person. A change in anything, especially my primary doctor, makes me uncomfortable. I hate starting a whole new relationship.

I just feel like this whole situation is unjust. I believe I was treated unfairly. I want to do something about it. Perhaps write her a letter, telling her how I feel. Or going on some rate-your-doctor website and ranting there. I'm not sure.

Does anyone have any suggestions?...

Anyway, it sucks that I'm moping because I actually have the day off work.

In order to cheer myself up, I decided to post some photos to remind myself why I should be happy today:


I am going to see my boyfriend tonight (well we live together, but because of our schedules we rarely get to see each other, ha)



I am going to see a movie with my dad this afternoon

(I actually have no idea if we're going to see this movie. But it looks cute.)


I'm going to have pizza for dinner!


And I'm going to have a beer (or two) to go with that pizza. Because I deserve it. And I need it.



Why, oh why, did she dump me? What did I do to deserve this?

Isabelle Adjani & Giveaway Winner

As you all know, I love random movies. Especially ones that have fabulous lead actresses.

I was lucky enough to stumble upon another gem at my local library.

Adele H.



It is the true story of Victor Hugo's daughter, Adele, who was obsessed with a soldier stationed in Halifax. I don't want to give too much of the film away, since I want you all to netflix/rent/borrow it immediately.




This film, which I kind of expected to be lame, absolutely blew me away. It was raw, passionate, and honest. Knowing that it was all based on a true story absolutely gave me chills.



The reason this film affected me so much was not just because it was brilliantly written and gorgeously captured, but because of the lead actress: Isabelle Adjani.

Her performance as Adele is unbelievable. Pure genius, actually.

When this film came out in 1975, Isabelle became the youngest person to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Lead Actress.

I was so entranced with Isabelle's performance I decided to learn more about her.

I was not disappointed.



Isabelle is one of the most talented and well-known actresses in French cinema.

In 1981, Adjani received the Cannes Film Festival's best actress award for the Merchant Ivory film Quartet based on the novel by Jean Rhys, and for the horror film Possession.

The following year, she received her first César Award for Possession, in which she portrays a woman having a nervous breakdown. In 1983, she won the César, for her depiction of a vengeful woman in the blockbuster One Deadly Summer.



In 1989, she co-produced and starred in a biopic of the tragic sculptor Camille Claudel. She received her third César and second Oscar nomination for her role in the film, which was also nominated for an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film.



In 1990, she was chosen by People magazine as one of the '50 Most Beautiful People' in the world.



Her fourth César win was for the 1994 film Queen Margot, an ensemble epic directed by Patrice Chéreau.



Her private life is a little evasive. She has two sons, one with director Bruno Nuytten, and the other with Daniel Day-Lewis. She was engaged to a musician seven years ago but broke it off because he had been cheating on her.



I am looking forward to seeing more of her films, especially the ones I mentioned above.

Isn't she divine?

Anyway, last but not least, I wanted to reveal the winner of my Perricone Cold Plasma giveaway.

The winner is...the lovely Karyn Bernard of *French Charming*!!! E-mail me with your contact information, sweetie! Congrats!