I fell off the grid.
I thought it would be fitting to come back here this afternoon, seven days after my blog's five year anniversary.
You see, back in November, my life kind of turned upside down. I was already incredibly unhappy at the time. My depression has snowballed over the past few years. I stopped being interested in things that interest me. I had no desire to write anymore. To read books from my favorite authors. To even hang out with friends very much. Nothing inspired me.
Then, I found out by accident that I'm pregnant.
I was covering a city council meeting and right when the big issue came up, which was supposed to be my big story, I ran to the bathroom and threw up for more than an hour. I thought I was dying.
My dad took me to the hospital. We found out that I wasn't dying, but in fact doing the opposite by creating life.
Since Rian still has another semester of graduate school left and he's living on campus two hours away, I gave up my apartment and moved back in with my parents so I could use my measly freelance journalist paycheck to pay off my debt and save up for my inevitable medical expenses.
It has been a huge shock and it took me several months to come to terms with my situation. I found out a little while ago that I'm having a boy. I'm due in late June or early July.
Well, now that the shock has worn off and the distraction is no longer a novelty, I'm back to facing my pre-pregnancy demons.
I need inspiration. I long for creativity. I wish I could regain that passion I used to have for, well, anything.
But instead, I go through the motions of everyday life. I do my job. I watch television. I spend most of my time staring into space, not really thinking about anything until I realize half the day is gone.
What do you do when you need to get out of a slump? When you seek creative inspiration? When you want to jumpstart your ambitions?
Makeup: Velour Lips by Australis
3 hours ago